A hard decision
Published: Wed, 01/11/17
I have a difficult decision to make today. In truth I have been putting it off since before Christmas. In December it was 3 years since we got planning permission to use 3 to 5 South Street as a Stav training centre. It wasn’t in good condition to say the least and it has been massively improved since in terms of décor and functionality. Also equipped with everything needed for Stav training including weapons racked on the wall, a punch bag, mats and focus pads and the runes and web displayed on the wall.
I have taught there regularly, over the past year 4 times a week, including a junior class. Courses have been held including a CQC weapons course with Fox Walters last June and the annual training with Ivar last September. I have also been willing to share the place with other teachers and there have been exercise classes held by a couple of lady instructors.
So, between Venetia and I, we have created a special place. I have done most of the construction and installation, the excellent decoration is mainly down to her. A lot of good training has taken place there. So, what is my decision? Financially the Stav centre simply has not made sense. I have been subsidising the rent and other costs quite substantially for the past three years. As you can imagine this is putting a strain on me and those close to me which can’t be sustained. There is someone who is very interested in taking over the premises to use as a gym and fitness training centre. The idea is that I would ask the landlord to transfer the lease in March and I could rent the space one evening a week and some Saturday afternoons. It would remove the financial burden and, if there was sufficient interest, there is nothing to stop me hiring a church hall (or similar premises) to teach on other evenings. Discussions about
transferring the lease have been going on since December so I need to decide one way or the other now. I can’t let the situation drag on, not least because the person who wants to take over from me needs to make his plans for what is now the Stav Centre or start looking elsewhere.
So, why share this? Some people reading this will be thinking ‘what an idiot for getting into that situation and letting it drag on so long’. Or you might think that dreams are all very well but we have to be realistic too. Either response is perfectly valid and I do take full responsibility for the situation I have created. However, there is a lesson here. I am guilty of ‘following a dream and believing everything would come right in the end’. In April 2012 we were offered the premises at 3 to 5 South Street to use temporarily for training while other uses were being explored. Once we had cleared the rubbish out of the way, not a pretty sight, it proved to be an excellent training space. I found myself seeing it as a Stav Centre and the opportunity came up to take it on so I did. It seemed like the right thing to do and a similar opportunity was unlikely to come up again. Three years later we have that special place and I
still believe that there is a great deal of value to share there. I have received a great deal from learning and practising Stav in my life. I gain a lot from teaching and sharing what I have learned. In fact I am a good example of the principle that ‘you only really learn by teaching’.
So, what has gone wrong? It would be easy to be dishonest at this point. I could blame others for not supporting me, I could blame myself for not doing enough marketing, writing, self-promotion etc. I have let people down, particularly in the membership scheme and I am genuinely sorry about that, I am very grateful to those who have continued supporting me anyway. The basic problem has been that I have given out and somehow not allowed enough to come back in.
The purpose of writing and sharing this is to find some peace of mind in my decision. Giving up the Stav centre won’t stop me training and teaching. It may free up resources for more writing and other ways of sharing knowledge and experience with others. Maybe it is time for the building to have a new incarnation which have more appeal for the good people of Crewkerne. In the grand scheme of things letting go of the Stav centre is a very small matter.
On the other hand the Stav Centre in Crewkerne is a dedicated space for the learning and practice of Stav. I felt I was doing something worthwhile when I followed my vision of creating such a space, I wish I could feel easy about accepting that it was a nice idea then but now it is time to move on. I did have a sense that I was serving some greater purpose by creating the Stav centre and that belief hasn’t gone away even though the accounts say that this is not a viable proposition.
Since you are reading this and therefore interested to a greater or lesser extent in Stav, I would like you to be aware of the situation I am dealing with. I would also like to ask you if there is anything I could offer you which would give you a reason to support the Stav Centre? I know we live in a big world and getting to classes or even courses might be asking too much. On the other hand we can’t afford to live in a virtual world and real life, face to face, hands on teaching and training involving social interaction is essential to our development and well-being.
If the Stav Centre in Crewkerne is just a manifestation of my ego then I should certainly let it go. But, if you believe that it’s existence may be of some value to you let me know how it could serve you whoever and where ever you are.
Thanks for your support and interest.
regards
Graham
PS Can you make any of the training opportunities coming up this year http://www.iceandfire.org/calendar.html ? Also, here is another video showing the kind of training we do at Somerset Stav Martial Arts https://www.screencast.com/t/PJqDqr3l