The teetotaller and the whisky salesman
Published: Tue, 10/11/16
Looking back my father and my maternal grandfather were both quite amiable and sociable people. They were also both men of quite strong convictions on various matters social, political and, in my grandfather’s case particularly, religious ones. They did rub along okay most of the time but it wasn’t always easy. The main issue which caused tension was alcohol. My father’s father was a Londoner and he was a salesman in the liquor trade all his working life. My grandfather came from a long line of Cheshire Methodists and strict temperance (total abstinence from alcohol) had been the norm in his family for at least three generations.
When my parents married my maternal grandfather paid for the event. He also insisted that the reception be alcohol free. The venue were persuaded to close the bar for the occasion. This was not popular with my father’s side of the family and I remember my aunt (my father’s sister) telling me that she and other guests on my father’s side had to slip across the road to the pub in order to make the occasion tolerable.
When my parents visited the in laws my father would be irritated by the incomplete hospitality provided. When my grandfather came to stay, especially at Christmas, he would find it hard to conceal his disapproval at the presence and consumption of alcohol in the house. I was sixteen when my Grandfather died. So, I didn’t fully realise the level of tension that was often present between the older generations over this issue. The funny part was that when my Grandfather has passed away my parents cleared his house. They found two bottles of whiskey, one half empty. It wasn’t hypocrisy on the old man’s part, just that he had complained to the doctor of mild insomnia. The medical professional had simply recommended a tot of Whisky before bed (probably thinking it was better than sleeping pills). In this case my grandfather’s respect for the medical profession overrode his lifelong teetotalism. Apparently after a long day of house
clearing my parents were happy to drink a toast to the old man with his own whisky.
To drink or not to drink? It has never been a requirement for Methodists to be teetotal. Temperance was more of a social movement in the 19th and early 20th century than a specifically religious one. Part of the Victorian idea of ‘self-improvement’, especially important among the lower middle class who intended to better themselves. There is a point to it, if as a working man you spend time and money in the pub each evening with people who are doing exactly the same as you then that will be your life. Stop drinking, save the money and perhaps use the time to go to evening classes and study with like minded people and your life will change. ‘If you keep on doing what you have always done, you will keep on getting what you always got.’ As the saying goes. Stopping drinking alcohol with the social life associated with it is going to be a pretty drastic change for a lot of people. There were plenty of examples of the positive
effects of temperance on a lot of people’s lives.
The problem comes with making a lifestyle choice into an ideology or even a religious taboo. I had a dry week last week. Venetia and I had a dry month in January. It is good to know we can take it or leave it, but that is all that really matters. I personally enjoy a drink, I enjoy social drinking and I know that alcohol has a powerful effect on the body and mind so I treat it with respect. If I never drank again would it guarantee that I will be rich, famous and wildly successful? Of course not but I also know that drinking a bottle of spirits a day would shorten my life quite dramatically.
The key issue is self awareness and taking charge of your own life. Habitual drinking or ideological temperance can both be equally enslaving. Looking back my father probably drank more consistently than was good for him, certainly his health in later years wasn’t that good (the smoking didn’t help either). Neither would it have done my grandfather any harm to have relaxed and enjoyed a glass of wine at a Christmas meal instead of seething with disapproval.
I am not judging either of them for their lifestyle choices, both were very fine gentlemen who dedicated themselves to raising families and being of great service to their communities. There was a good deal of mutual respect between them except for this one particular issue. The point is that we should be very careful of taking a behaviour pattern that seems good for us and making it into an ideology. Once we have an ideology we feel special within the group that appears to share it and we can come to despise those outside. We separate ourselves from those who ‘sin’ on the issue. If a son or daughter ‘marries out’ from the ideology, as my mother did from temperance, it can cause a lot of tension even if managed in a reasonably civilised fashion as my family seemed to do. It can mean a total breakup of the family which strikes me as an unnecessary tragedy.
People have asked if Stav is a religion or even a cult. No, it isn’t, it is an education system intended to see and think for yourself. If the practices help you then great make the most of them. If they don’t or you are not able to make them part of your life then do what works for you. Set an example of personal responsibility by how you live your own life, don’t try and organise other people.
If you think learning Stav would help you then I will be happy to share with you. If not that is fine too.
Next course this Saturday in Crewkerne, details here http://somersetstav.co.uk/staff.html
regards
Graham
PS Next Monday (the 17th of October) I will be speaking at a pagan moot in Kingsteignton, Devon, starting around 7.30pm. If you might be interested in coming along and hearing me talking about the healing bind rune and the health benefits of Stav then just reply to this and I will be happy to give you more details. I will write up the talk and post it soon afterwards too.