Creating my own stress
Published: Thu, 10/01/15
I have had a rather stressful week so far. Picking up on Tuesday’s email when I mentioned the fun and games I am having getting the van through its MOT test. I got a message this morning saying that van is now ready for collection with its certificate for another year, so result at last. It isn’t as though I lack experience in getting old (my C15 is 15 years old), high mileage (175,000 miles and on the original engine and gearbox as far as I know) and rather ratty vehicles through MOT tests, I have been doing it all my life. I am usually the last owner of a vehicle before it ends up in the scrapyard. That is fine with me, I enjoy low cost motoring, I can do what I like in terms of modifications and ‘improvements’ and I don’t need to worry too much about damage or loss as I would with a nice new car.
No, the reason this particular episode has been stressful is that a minor ‘perfect storm’ of circumstances came together at once. The three main ones being that I could not easily obtain the part I needed for an economical repair (running vehicles worth less than £300 only makes sense if they are repaired as cheaply as possible), Venetia is working away until Friday this week so that I didn’t have access to our other vehicle (our 19 year old Peugot) and I have a lot of work on in places that can’t realistically be reached without a vehicle. (one of the joys of living in a rural area.) There were a couple of other minor factors which have not helped but you already get the idea.
So why stressful? Yes, I created a difficult situation for myself in owning a vehicle like mine. However, as I said above I am also an expert in dealing with such situations and for me there are major advantages in running a vehicle such as my C15 and we look after each other very well.
The stress comes from three extra elements:
Firstly there is a sense of being out of control and losing one’s sense of autonomy, not being mobile and not knowing how to get the part I needed left me with a sense of helplessness which leads to:
Secondly, anger and frustration at not having seen what was going to happen and acting sooner to stop the problem arising in the first place. I replaced clutch a few months ago and could have replaced prop shaft at the same time, but I could not get the part I needed so just left it until the mot. I now wish I had dealt with the problem then. Again there are other factors that could have been changed in hindsight. Which leads to:
Thirdly, clouded judgement and completely wrong assumptions which make the situation even worse than it already is. Following a failed MOT there is a grace period of 10 working days. During this time the issues which resulted in the failure can be rectified and the vehicle returned for a free re-test. The van was tested on the 18th so the deadline for retest was effectively today. I took the van back in on Monday this week so plenty of time. However the MOT itself expired on Friday and somehow I conflated the two deadlines in my mind. Which meant that I told the mechanic that I had missed the deadline (even though I hadn’t) which meant that he thought he was going to have to do a complete retest instead of a quick inspection of the 4 or 5 simple repairs which I have successfully completed. Fortunately my friend Hugh (who also lent me the MIG welder which I used to do the body work repairs) reminded me that the grace period was 10
days, not 5 and I was able to rectify the situation.
So, I would suggest that stress is when a genuine challenge seems to get out of hand. To deal with losing control we need a combination of contingency planning and just accepting the situation with good grace. Don’t be angry with yourself at not knowing what you did not know, just be grateful for the new knowledge when it does arrive, perhaps share it with others and save them the frustration you have had. Lastly, keep reality checking that you are not assuming there are problems that do not actually exist, stress always makes situations seem much worse than they actually are. If you are beyond seeing the reality for yourself ask a sensible friend to review the situation with you. Because they are not emotionally involved they will probably see the situation much more clearly than you do.
Sorry about all the technical details but this is a current situation and so I thought that it would be a useful example of another misused word, ‘stress’.
Of course confrontation with an aggressive person or persons is likely to be a challenging situation. How ‘stressful’ it is depends upon how well prepared you are to deal with such an encounter. The Self-defence seminar on Saturday morning in Crewkerne will consider just how to be ready for, and how to adapt to such a situation. http://www.somersetstav.co.uk/sd.html
Of course, whether you want to learn such stuff from someone who can’t get his van through its MOT without getting stressed is for you to decide.
regards
Graham