Demanding money with menaces, at six years old
Published: Fri, 11/29/13
When I was five I went to infants school as most children do at
that age. I can't remember much about it at all apart from an
older boy threatening to beat me up if I didn't take him money
the next day. I went home in some distress that afternoon and told
my mother what had happened. I found the whole situation very
confusing since violence played no part in my childhood life and
the idea that someone would try to get me to do something I
didn't want to do by hurting me was a new concept. Okay, I had
been over protected but if a five year old was unaware of violence
where did the six year old who was intimidating me catch onto the
idea of demanding money with menaces? Anyway, my mother simply
said that if he threatened me again I was to tell him that if he
hit me I would hit him right back and if necessary do it. Well
that seemed simple enough and the next day when I was approached
and asked if I had brought some money I did exactly what my mother
had told me to do. And, well, he immediately backed down and
wanted to be friends. Sorry if that is a bit of an anticlimax.
This kid (I can't remember his name) also wanted to teach me
some Karate and again I have no idea where he got it from but he
introduced me to the idea of the Karate chop. I expect it was just
something he saw on TV.
So in my first two days or so at infants school I had a rapid
education. I discovered that people would use threats of violence
to try and get what they wanted from you. I discovered that my
mother knew that this kind of thing happened and could advise me
what to do about it. I discovered that her advice worked and when
applied properly could completely alter a relationship from
predator and victim to one of equals with the possibility of being
friends. I also discovered that there was a science of fighting
which could be learned and it could be used to manage situations
such as the one I had been confronted with on my first day at
'big' school.
Since then I have never really been afraid of violence, fear
wasn't really the issue in the situation described above. I
was simply confused as to what to do in an unfamiliar situation. I
think I was perfectly confident that my parents would give me the
right advice and so they did. That isn't to say that I am not
careful about the dangers of violence, I see it more like driving a
car or riding a motorcycle. You have to be careful to avoid
accidents if at all possible but there is no need to be in fear of
driving or riding in the first place.
Now, getting on for half a century later I still have a similar
approach. My emphasis in Martial Arts training is on managing the
self and if violence is directed against me it will simply not
achieve anything. I know it always sounds like a cliché but
I do believe that to be of real value Martial arts training is
about finding inner peace and influencing others to do the same,
even if they have an inclination to violence initially. I taught
at the Noble Science last weekend and had a great time, here are a
couple of the feedback messages I got via email: "I really
loved your session. It gave me some new ideas to ponder."
which was from Pedrac who is German and a great wrestling teacher.
"I have heard nothing but good feedback about the session and
about you. I now have you on my list as someone I know I can call
on to give a well received session " from Martin who organised
the event. http://www.thenoblescience.com
Of course face to face training is best but I am also building up
the collection of video lessons on the Ice and Fire membership
site. If extreme violence and mayhem is your thing then the way I
teach Stav is not for you. But if you are looking for a way of
effectively managing the tendency to violence which is inherent in
the human race and discovering harmony instead then I might be able
to help.
regards
Graham
PS The Ice and Fire Members newsletter for November is ready to go
out today. It is possible to learn Stav where ever you are in the
world so long as you have a postal service and an internet
connection. http://www.iceandfire.org.uk/join.html